Buttsecks Trooper Appreciation

creepy african american GIFOn a walk through West Hollywood, CA, I was approached by a man who was standing suspiciously in an alley tucked away in the thick of a restaurants landscaping. Though the area is nice it was still weird to see this man standing there; it is indeed WeHo and he could have been doing anything from getting his ass eaten or waiting to rob me—you never really can know. I looked over to him and he flashed a smile while complimenting me on my outfit (which I’m sure would get the full gay stamp of approval.) I thanked him and continued my trip to my car, but before I could make it four steps away I could hear him asking if I’d “like to suck his dick.” This question totally caught me off guard, but is definitely reminiscent of what you’d expect in WeHo. I laugh and tell him I’m flattered, but graciously decline wearing a smile.


appreciate adam sandler GIFThough I wasn’t particularly in the mood to have random sex in the middle of WeHo with a stranger (this time), I couldn’t help but appreciate this “buttsecks trooper” for taking to the streets to make sure pleasure is readily available to be passed around to those in need of a good bout of anal sex. The gay community gets a lot of shit for the promiscuity that is stereotypically believed to be running rampant, but we’re all human and the gay community doesn’t place the same societal restraints on themselves how heterosexual couples may. For this, we must thank buttsecks troopers for making themselves available! Gay men want sex and it must be there to satisfy the hunger.


correct stephen colbert GIF by The Late Show With Stephen ColbertButtsecks troopers have a long history that stems way beyond recent history. Cottaging is a term that originated in Europe and refers to anonymous sex between gay men in public restrooms, or cruising for sex with the intentions of going elsewhere. Anyone who has ever gone to New Orleans has probably cottaged for some ‘good jug’ in the French Quarter after a long night of hand grenades, but why do so many people shun this behavior? I always felt that the shame that was cast on the gay community for their promiscuity stemmed from an envious place whereas straight men can’t engage in sex as randomly (as often) because of the female awareness of her sexuality in an attempt to remain ‘ladylike’. I’ve always felt that societies across the world worked diligently to stifle the sexual expressions of women and those who didn’t identify directly with heteronormative standards (LGBTQ couples) that are set. Fortunately for the rebels out there (the “sluts” and gays) we can do as we please. Whether we choose to be monogamous with one man or woman, or hookup with the buttsecks trooper in the middle of an alley on a dark Monday night, we run the show. DO YOU BOO BOO!


sad matt leblanc GIFButtsecks troopers are a necessity for the culture! They are vital to ending sexual droughts that they had no idea were there. They bridge the gap of loneliness and offer you a chance to experience the feelings we all long for, without the commitment and the grueling task of becoming emotionally available for your partner. Random sex comes to rescue you from the lowest of lows just when desperation is seemingly ready to peak its ugly head… No one has ever enjoyed the life they set up out of desperation!


secret lebron james GIF by PoweradeButtsecks troopers provide a great sense of privacy that you can’t really find many other places. In today’s world, you will meet a man online and then you’ll find him popping up in your Facebook friend suggestions, or he’s finding you on other social media apps using your phone number… The shit can get annoying—especially if you have unleashed the beast of good gay sex on him. It’s reassuring that your random hookup is safe when there is no paper trail, you aren’t exchanging information, or even looking to see each other again. Buttsecks troopers are a gift that so few of us are appreciative of. I believe that I will shake the hand of the next man that offers to make me cum or allow me to use him as my sexual focal point for the evening when I least expected it because I can only imagine the courage it takes to hit the streets for sex and even more nerve to pursue someone for the quenching of your lustful thirst.


go season 9 GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmButtsecks troopers aren’t for the faint at heart that are easily dickmatized or are looking for something more after an encounter. It is so hard to find people who want to have sex without all of the complications of feelings and the awful and awkward conversation surrounding “what are we?” We aren’t doing anything except allowing buttsecks troopers the opportunity to empty our sacks while they get off from the great joys of awesome anal sex glory. Maybe the zest and spunk you’ve been missing from your sex life can be found on the head of a buttsecks troopers dick, where he wants you to leave all your insecurities and worries. Are you down for a random sexual soiree with a trooper for buttsecks?

Kris Welcome

Kris Welcome

Kris Welcome is a writer based in Los Angeles, CA. Currently, he serves as a copywriter where he manages several blogs, including Pics Of Men, Gay Hub, and Big Cam Tube. Kris is from Texas and has lived in California since 2014. Mr. Welcome has been a writer as long as he can remember and has worked to derive a writing style that's versatile and rounded, but still reflective of one voice. Kris has a BA in Communication with minor concentration in journalism from Texas Southern University and a MFA in Producing for TV/Film from New York Film Academy-Burbank. He has written for The Voice of Southwest Louisiana, BallerAlert, and Curb Networks, among others. Soul food enthusiast. Southern gentleman. Beach bum. Pisces. Guy with the Afro.

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